Why Do We Expect Our Dogs to Be Perfect When We Aren’t?
Have you ever had one of those days where everything just feels a bit too much? You wake up late, spill your coffee, forget an appointment, and just feel generally off? Of course, you have—we all do.
Now, imagine someone judging you for that. Saying you should be better, you should know better, and you should never make mistakes. Sounds harsh, doesn’t it?
And yet, so many of us hold our dogs to that kind of impossible standard.
The Pressure to Be Perfect
I see it all the time with my clients. A dog has been doing well with their training, but then one day, they react to another dog, ignore a recall, or seem to forget everything they’ve learned. Their guardian is frustrated, sometimes even embarrassed. Why is this happening? We’ve worked so hard!
But let’s flip that perspective.
You’ve been eating healthily all week, but then one day, you fancy a bar of chocolate and eat the whole thing.
You’ve been working out consistently, but then you have a week where you can’t find the motivation to get off the sofa.
You’re normally a patient person, but today, you snapped at your partner over something small.
Does that mean you’ve failed? Of course not! It means you’re human. And your dog?
They’re a living, feeling being too.
Setbacks Are a Normal Part of Learning
I remember working with a client whose dog had been doing brilliantly with their loose lead walking. Then, one day, they went on a walk, and it was like the dog had never worn a harness before—pulling, lunging, completely ignoring everything they’d been taught.
The client was gutted. It’s like we’re back at square one!
But we weren’t. Their dog wasn’t starting from scratch; they were just having an off day. Maybe they were stressed, maybe something had changed in their environment, or maybe they just weren’t in the right headspace to focus. And that’s okay.
Because learning isn’t a straight line—it’s full of ups and downs.
Your Dog Is Doing Their Best
Dogs aren’t robots. They don’t come pre-programmed with perfect behaviour, and they certainly don’t wake up every day feeling 100% ready to train.
A reactive dog who has been calm for weeks might suddenly react again.
A puppy who has been sleeping through the night might start waking up and crying.
A dog who normally loves their food might suddenly be fussy.
These things don’t mean they’re bad or that you’ve done something wrong. They just mean they’re navigating life the best way they can, just like you are.
Shifting Our Mindset
Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try asking:
What might have caused this reaction today?
Is my dog feeling overwhelmed, tired, or stressed?
How can I support them through this instead of feeling frustrated?
When we approach setbacks with understanding rather than disappointment, we make it easier for our dogs to succeed in the long run.
Give Yourself (and Your Dog) Grace
Next time your dog has a setback, take a deep breath. Think about all the progress you’ve made together and remind yourself that one bad day doesn’t undo all your hard work.
And if you’re struggling with your dog’s behaviour, you don’t have to do it alone. I work with guardians of reactive dogs to help them understand their dogs better and build a calmer, happier life together. If that sounds like something you need, let’s chat.
Because neither you nor your dog needs to be perfect—you just need to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
